Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
