As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize