Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Let's get the cat blown out
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
