just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
