Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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