there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize