I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
