So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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