can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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