Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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