I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Are my feet made of real feet?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
