Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(734): View more from Michigan

I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.

Fav 17 5074 880
share tweet
(310): View more from California

LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.

(310): View more from California

And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.

Fav 26 4478 1557
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(306): View more from Saskatchewan

coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast

Fav 19 5337 1269
share tweet
(734): View more from Michigan

Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.

Fav 35 5926 2608
share tweet
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Read it at the TFLN blog
(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.

Fav 6 1198 2276
share tweet
(630): View more from Illinois

You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.

Fav 14 2044 1552
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(919): View more from North Carolina

I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.

Fav 10 2344 1407
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(313): View more from Michigan

Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here

(702): View more from Nevada

Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.

Fav 1 978 674
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(845): View more from New York

He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"

Fav 1 166 192
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT