Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
30+ People Share Their Worst ‘Intimate Experience’ And They’re Traumatizing
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
