but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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