y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
