so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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