I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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