Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
