the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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