Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
