trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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