Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I just googled if crying burns calories
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
