Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
