he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize