I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
