this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
