it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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