Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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