I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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