Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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