I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
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