So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
We are two peas in an std pod
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
