i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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