I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
you would pick up someone in the library
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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