i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
