AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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