yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
