i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
