We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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