Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
