literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
