I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
