naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
