Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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