Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
