I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
