Just cropdusted the office
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
