flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
