We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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