OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
