i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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