It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
