It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
