I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
