Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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