she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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