peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
