was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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