i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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