why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I'm too high and old for this...
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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