The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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