Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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