I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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