You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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