When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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