ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
