Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
