I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
