its not stalking. its research.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
