I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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