Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
